Although I didn’t get to post for last Friday’s Fiction but here’s what I wrote anyway. I’ve edited it a little as it was prior to my surgery…
 

The theme was Use this quote as the spark for anything you want. “I’m not one for sentimental endings. Not this time.”

 
Prior to a week ago I thought that I would fancy a sentimental ending, however finding out that you have cancer sobers you up in an instant. There was a specific moment when the world felt like it somehow had changed colour. I could rationalise why everyone was going about their business while my world had stopped. Each day was in a kind of foggy limbo while I waited to hear if the cancer had spread anywhere throughout my body, knowing that any spread meant that my life was suddenly going to feel very finite.
 
I found out that the cancer appears to be isolated in the lymph nodes under my arm and am so thankful to God for the good news. I will still have to wait for the pathology results after my surgery to find out what the next step is. During the operation the surgeon will remove all lymph nodes under my arm, down my chest wall and into my neck. This will enable pathology testing of all the nodes to determine what, if any spread there is into additional nodes.
 
So for now, the ending that I am feeling more comfortable with however, is one of power rather than sentiment. Sentiment seems a wasted emotion when I need strength and focus. I need to be prepared for a fight over the next few months as I tackle the next stage after surgery and therefore am thinking powerful thoughts instead. I want an ending of good health, being cancer free and being the mum and wife that I need to be.
 
Of course the ending that I’m thinking of, is just the ending of this chapter of my life and although incorrect by definition, means the start of the next chapter.